A plugins/meme.go

@@ -0,0 +1,79 @@
+package plugins
+
+import (
+	"encoding/base64"
+	"fmt"
+	"math/rand"
+	"strings"
+	"time"
+
+	"gopkg.in/irc.v3"
+)
+
+func init() {
+	Register(Meme{})
+}
+
+type Meme struct{}
+
+var n []byte
+
+func (Meme) Triggers() []string {
+	n, _ = base64.StdEncoding.DecodeString("bmlnZ2Vy")
+	return []string{
+		"." + string(n),
+		".kiss",
+		".increase",
+		".decrease",
+		".sniff",
+		".hug",
+	}
+}
+
+func (Meme) Execute(m *irc.Message) (string, error) {
+	parts := strings.SplitN(m.Trailing(), " ", 2)
+	trigger := parts[0]
+	rand.Seed(time.Now().Unix())
+	var target string
+	if len(parts) > 1 {
+		target = parts[1]
+	} else {
+		target = m.Prefix.Name
+	}
+
+	switch trigger {
+	case "." + string(n):
+		// lol
+		if m.Prefix.Name == "IRSSucks" {
+			target = "IRSSucks"
+		}
+		word := string(n)
+		if rand.Intn(10) == 8 {
+			// Easter egg! Only teh cool h4x0rz will get this.
+			word = "bmlnZ2Vy"
+		}
+		return fmt.Sprintf("%s is a %s", target, word), nil
+	case ".kiss", ".love":
+		kaomoji := []string{
+			"(●´□`)", "(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ", "(｡’▽’｡)",
+			"(ෆ ͒•∘̬• ͒)◞", "( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-", "⁽⁽ପ( •ु﹃ •ु)​.⑅*",
+			"(๑ Ỡ ◡͐ Ỡ๑)ﾉ", "◟(◔ั₀◔ั )◞ ༘",
+		}
+		return fmt.Sprintf(
+			"%s \x02\x034 。。・゜゜・。。・❤️ %s ❤️ \x03\x02",
+			kaomoji[rand.Intn(len(kaomoji))],
+			target,
+		), nil
+	case ".increase", ".decrease":
+		return fmt.Sprintf(
+			"\x02[QUALITY OF CHANNEL SIGNIFICANTLY %sD]\x02",
+			strings.ToUpper(trigger[1:]),
+		), nil
+	case ".sniff":
+		return fmt.Sprintf("huffs %s's hair while sat behind them on the bus.", target), nil
+	case ".hug":
+		return fmt.Sprintf("(>^_^)>❤️ %s ❤️<(^o^<)", target), nil
+
+	}
+	return "", nil
+}